That moment arrives when a normal day starts feeling like a storm all around you. The air feels cruel. The winds, even more. You hurt. It doesn’t go away. It troubles you outwardly. Your head feels empty but gets heavier every minute. The weight of never ending thoughts, insecurities and the fear. You try badly for this storm to stop. You try not to let anything enter your mind for you know you’ll have to pay for it. But what you avoid, identifies you. What you are supposed to be like, kills you somehow. Every thought leads you back to that same place. You long. You hurt. Like a beggar. Full of regrets. Full of what ifs and buts. You are nothing inside but everything inside you is just too much that you feel the space isn’t enough. You feel weightless. But it feels like the burden is breaking you and pushing you down the floor, deep down the tiles of your room and even the sand thereafter. You don’t stop trying but the storm always wins. Like it has won, right now.
What do I feel right now? All at once. And nothing at all.