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Annoying Facebookers

– People who ‘like’ their own photos/statuses.
What the hell is up with that? Obviously you liked that photo or status, that’s why you put it up in the first place. It’s like high fiving yourself. No one likes your status, so you like it yourself to make yourself look less pathetic. Some of them do it to increase the number of likes on their photo. It’s sad, really.

I guess I can forgive you if you’ve done it before, but from now on, don’t do it. People will think you are some sort of self-obsessed attention-seeker, or at least that’s what I’ll think 🙂
– People who type like this:

dat is soooooo coooolllll iii hadddd nnoooo ideaaaaa!!
omg r u srs lol hve 2 nt uze 2 mny ltters
lolzz, i Am s0 Kewlxxx and awsum, hehexx. ❤

…yeah, just don’t.
– People who treat their facebook as their personal diary.
Is it really necessary for you to update us on every single thing you do?
“Eating porridge for dinner”– wow that is SO interesting and I really needed to know that.
Also people who whine about how much their life sucks and share their depression with the rest of the world. Once in a while is okay, I do it too, but almost every single day? Too much.
Some people update their status around 10 times in one go. Which is basically like spamming my homepage. No, I do not appreciate that.
I specially hate it when people put statuses like: This is just so sad, I can’t believe this is happening 😦 and then when people ask them what’s wrong, they just ignore. Why did you put it on facebook if you didn’t want your friends to know about it? What was your purpose? To get attention? Yeah I thought so.
– The ones who worry about what their next profile picture will be 24/7.
Is it just me, or are people taking photos JUST so they can have a new display picture on their facebook? It’s kinda funny, and to be honest, I do that too sometimes.
But tagging/untagging yourself in the SAME profile picture just so more people ‘like’ or comment on it is a little pathetic.
And taking a picture of yourself with a pout on your face, in front of a mirror, in the bathroom, is a little weird. Just saying.

– People who delete statuses and comments.
Basically, they post something stupid and someone comments on it and that makes them realise how retarded it was so they delete it to save themselves the embarrassment.

– Excessive PDA. Couples who communicate via Facebook.
I honestly don’t get this one. I mean, it’s great that you two are happy and blah blah, but seriously, aren’t relationships supposed to be more personal?
I don’t get why couples these days are always writing on each others walls or dedicating personal statuses to each other. I mean, if you have something to say, I’m sure you have each others phone numbers. You can have these conversations in private instead of with the rest of the world.

– People who are fake/ attention seekers.
There are so many examples of this but the one that bugs me the most is when people write something like:
“Happy birthday mom, I love you so much, you’re the best!”, when they don’t even have their mom added as a friend on facebook -.-
Please show your love in real life and not on a social media site just to get attention.

– People who are obsessed with their children.
There’s nothing wrong with loving your kids but uploading photos of them all day and writing a status about EVERY cute or adorable thing they did that day can get kind of annoying.

– People who fish for compliments.
They upload a photo of themselves and caption it ‘no comments, I know its ugly’. Well then you shouldn’t have uploaded it in the first place. I usually ignore such people but if baffles me when their friends comment things like ‘no way, if ur ugly then what am i?’ or ‘you’re gorg hunny! xx’. (These are actual comments I saw on such a picture last week).

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Take the time

We live in a pretty demanding world full of a million distractions and things to keep us pretty busy.  Some of the things are important and demand our attention, others are less important, and then there are the time wasters that suck the life out of you should you allow them to.

This gadget happy, materialistic environment that calls out to us continually to occupy our minds with thoughts and things that are “nice” and “handy” can tend to distract us from the pure simple and natural joys of living, that for some have gone all but lost in the shuffle.  All of these great, new and wonderful commodities are useful tools that can help us accomplish more.  They can bring us temporary fulfillment and happiness because they make our life easier.  But they will never bring us the lasting happiness that  feeds our inner soul and brings us back to the simple childlike joys of yesteryear.

I was thinking about this the other day as I took some off-time from the frantic busy life-style that I now call my “normal”.  This day  I took the time to enjoy the beauty of a flower, watch the sunset and gaze at the stars in the sky brought me feelings of appreciation for my family and loved ones as I remembered moments that I had spent with each one.  That is a joy that lasts on forever.

If you hope to have a great time, put aside all of the distractions, be it work, play gadgets or toys and take the time to feel that inner-peace and joy you experienced as a child. Learn to be happy with the moment, don’t allow yourself to be dependent on “things”.  They are but tools that we can use, just don’t allow them to use you!

key to happiness

In life, we always screw up things!

End up doing the right thing at the wrong time and the wrong thing at the right time.

We are still hanging with people that we hate and at the same time, messing up with those people that truly cares for us.

Fortunately, I have learned the lesson which is obviously through the hard way.

Based on the rise and falls (more falls than rise actually)  that I experienced in my life, there are some rules that you can live by actually.

After all life is what we make out of it.

Rule no 1: Follow your intuitions

Trust me, they are always right. There’s no better guide than your own instinct.

The tiny voices that comes straight from your heart could save you from almost anything!

Sadly, we always underestimate and tend to ignore those warnings and end up in regrets.

Rule 2: You don’t have the right to judge any

No one has the rights to judge anyone.

Basically we don’t have the right to judge anyone and it really does make our life less complicated as we don’t have to waste our energies on thinking about how others  should lead their life and at the same time worrying about how people are thinking about us.

 

Rule 3: Say the truth,always

Say the truth and it will set you free.

Khaled Hosseini once wrote in  his book (The Kite Runner) ‘When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth’ These words are so true.

Everyone deserves to know the truth and it easier this way.

Rule no 4: Parents always right!!!!

If you think they are ever wrong refer back to rule no 4.

The only people who does not  want any harm to befall us are our parents. So trust them.:D

Rule no 5: Respect failures

Although you can’t accept defeats or failures, but never under estimate them as they have the capacity to change your life forever. Respect failures and always admit your mistakes.

Rule no 6: Everyone has their piece of cake

There’s no need to rush or feel envy of others as everyone has their piece of cake and if its meant for you, no one can take it away from you.God is always fair enough but that’s certainly not an excuse to forget the hard work part.

Rule no 7: Expect less and hope more!!!!

When there is no expectations there’ll be lesser disappointments.

Most of the time, the expectations to be happy is what making us not happy after all.

But never lose hope 🙂

Older and wiser

Ever wonder how would it be to be old and grumpy? When grey hairs popping out from your scalp, more than the strands of hair that you dyed last week and when the wrinkles start to flow like a stream all over your face that never seems to disappear regardless of the layers of foundation that you applied.  The kids are afraid to pick up those baseballs that had flown in through your windows as they strongly believe that you are being possessed by some kind of monster. Not forgetting the loneliness that you felt everyday which is much more painful than the bee-sting pain that you felt around your spine.

So, this is how you want to grow old or the other way around?

Every morning starts anew, and you grow younger at heart as the days got older. The number of grey hairs resembles the wisdom and knowledge that you have gain all this while and by hiding it with black paints would be such a shame for your integrity. The wrinkles that coated your skins shows the amount of love that you have gain and received all though your life. On every weekend, the house will be crowded with the children’s of your sons and daughters who encircles you with so much eagerness to listen to the story of the day. Finally when the time comes for your departure, the love of your life holds you gently and whispers to your ear ‘Dear, its okay. You can let go now. and with those words you held you last breath in serenity.

Surely, I would like to be the lady in the second part. I would like to be surrounded with my loved ones on my deathbed, not some caregiver/nurse who doesn’t even know my first name and constantly address me as Ms/Madam. Aging is something beautiful and I doesn’t it want to be filled up with thought such as ‘what if’ and ‘I wish’. I want my life to be meaningful. I don’t want to go back. I want to go forward and see more and do more.

From the other side

Dear Fifteen-year-old me,

You know what? You’re STUPID. I wish I could go back in time and give you a nice, big whack on your head. Stop caring about how you look and what people think of you. Seriously, no one cares. And it doesn’t matter. Your best friends will hardly care. I know your hormones are surging, but need you behave like that when you see a bunch of cute guys around? Relax, girl. Don’t panic. It’ll pass. It’s temporary.

Please study for your boards. You know you have brains and you just have to apply them. I know that your board exam marks won’t matter in the future and no one is going to be remotely interested in them once you join college, but getting a 90+ will make you feel so much better about yourself. Do not get lost in the world of social networking. It will waste your time and you will read lesser and lesser until you don’t have the patience to finish any book. And that sucks.

Try to judge people better and have the discretion to know who is actually your friend and who only pretends to be. People will use you because you’re so naïve. Do NOT trust people too fast. Do not be lured into a world of ‘going out’ and ‘looking good’ and superficial relationships. Do not try to be cool. It’s overrated. And you’re not very good at it. It’s okay to speak your mind and it’s good to say no sometimes. Stop taking shit from people. And let go of some people before you realize they weren’t worth it.

Know the guy you think you’re in love with? (Of course you do, you’re obsessed with him) Yeah well, you don’t. You’re fifteen ! And he doesn’t too. No matter what he says. Realize it sooner or you’re going to cause yourself a lot of mind-numbing, excruciating, soul shattering, heartbreaking pain, remorse, regret and grief. Or you know what, don’t. That relationship is going to make you realize everything you were missing out on and it will make you more careful. It’s going to lead you to find true love when you least expected it.

Read newspapers. Spend more time with your family. Waste less time on the phone. DON’T think about what a certain someone said about you. It’s not true and don’t let it get to you. I know you’re skinny but one day it won’t matter that much. Trust me. I know you fret, worry and cry about little things but you do know how to have a good time. Don’t let that go. Don’t let the innocence fade away. It’s okay to let friendships break. It’s okay to let things go. Good things will come to you. You have an amazing life ahead of you. Make the most of it. And no matter how stupid you are right now, you’re a good girl. I’m going to like you.

Love,

Rabia from the future 🙂

Keep the vision

So much can be said for the person who has a plan and is able to stay on track with their plan as they usually end up getting to their destination!  If you were to just set out on a trip not knowing where you were going, you would have no idea if you ever got there!  This may sound silly, but it is the sad reality of a great many people, they have no idea where they are going!  There is a quote that goes, “if you shoot at nothing, you are sure to hit it!”  But there is no satisfaction in that at all!

It may sound “too predictable” to some and even “boring”, but the fact is, if you have a goal, a vision or plan, it can actually add a lot of excitement to your life.  It is always best to have short-term and long-term plans so that you can see if you are making progress towards arriving at the completion of your goal or not.  If you plan out your day by making a “to do” list, and you check off this list as the days goes on, it can be a source of inspiration!  I know that for myself, as I get things taken care of  throughout the day, I feel alive and as though I am accomplishing something!  Especially when I can check off the things on my “to do” list that are particularly unpleasant!  In fact, it is usually those things that are unpleasant that are best to take care of right off the bat, as they tend to be the what leads to procrastination!

When I get those difficult things tackled at the beginning of the day, the other things that remain on the list, that are not as difficult, are so easy to tend to!  I feel really good after I get things done and don’t feel so guilty at the end of the day to get that much-needed “chill time”!  I even feel as though I deserve it!  There is just something stimulating about getting things taken care of, but the trick is usually the getting started part. But once you get started you are pretty much half done and you begin to feel more alive and on top of the world!

It is a daily fight to keep the vision since there are so many distractions in the course of the day.  Things will come up that seem to be so important, and you can get side-tracked by them and… boom, once again you end up off track and behind on your plan!  It takes a concerted effort to stay focused, but it is absolutely necessary if you want to make it to your destination.  Not only is it reinvigorating, it will also be financially rewarding as you will see that by doing so it will lead to greater success!

Masters of our own fate

So many people leave things up to “fate”, in other words they let things happen without coming to the realization that  they are the masters or designers of their own fate!  It bothers me when I hear people blame their situation on others in their lives! “well, I am this way because of my parents”, “I wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for my husband/wife” etc..

Of course “life happens”, things do come about in our lives that cause us to make decisions and sometimes they are not easy decisions at that.  But usually the things that do “happen to us” are in direct response to decisions that we have made in the past.  It is important to realize that to every action there is a reaction and we will attract to ourselves the results that we ourselves have put into motion (or may not have put into motion).

It is all too convenient to blame others for the situations that we find ourselves in when all along we have a great deal to do with the predicament that we find ourselves in. We all want to be “right” or at least “righer” than the next guy and it helps us to convince ourselves that we are just a tad bit better than anyone else and of course we don’t deserve what we have gotten ourselves into.  But really, if you want things to get better, then it would be best to grab a hold of the helm and steer the ship in a different direction, or at least away from the rocks!

If you sit around and cry in your soup about your lot in life, well think about this.  Imagine you were raised in an abusive home, you are a black American in Tennessee.  You could deduct that you are so unfortunate and that there simply is no hope for you and your “fate” is surely sealed and decided at birth, you will have a terrible life ahead of you! Take an example of Oprah Winfrey!  One of  the most successful women in America! She didn’t just sit back and accept her “fate” to decide for her, she took ahold of the helm and steered her ship into the deep and exciting waters where there are no limits to what she can do!

So don’t allow your mind to talk you into defeat! You were born to succeed regardless of your circumstances! It is up to you to steer your ship in the right direction, so take a hold of the helm!

Last Breath

I never know what to tell someone who is grieving from the loss of a loved one. How do you make someone feel better when someone they love has died.

No words seem appropriate, no words seem to do the trick. It is almost hopeless at that time. I just don’t know what to say… except that I know how it feels, because I lost someone to death as well, heck, I almost lost myself to it once. But that doesn’t make the pain any less.

Death is the eternal break up. We fight and we argue and we quarrel and we are bitter, and we hold grudges for years and years, and then suddenly it’s all over. And there is nothing we can do about it. Death doesn’t consider if someone loves you and they don’t want you to go. It doesn’t care if you have a million things to do before you are ready. It just takes, until nothing is left. That’s probably the most helpless we can be in this world.

But what’s amazing is that how easy it is to forget. How easy it is to completely dismiss the idea that any one of the people we hold so dear to us could be gone in the next second. How we can so quickly and eternally lose someone to something so trivial as a heart attack, a traffic accident, a senseless shooting, or even a suicide. To breathe, and not know it is your last.

The beauty is in you

When I was in my teenage years, I had this perception that I’m not pretty and never good enough for anyone. There were countless time I stood in front of mirror and wonder what should I fix in myself so that I can at least be close to being ‘pretty’. Most of my cousins/friends are fair skinned than me. Growing up with them made me to reach for cosmetics to make myself accepted by others.
I used to apply whitening creams and wear make ups to hide my flaws. Eventually the effort of trying to be pretty turned to an obsession. There was just always something not right with my body and the way I look. After so many attempts failed to satisfy me, I soon realized that being pretty starts with accepting yourself for who you are. You can never satisfy yourself unless you start to realize your own potential. I started to build my confidence in different ways, without relying on my looks.
I have also learned over the years on how to see beauty in others. If you look close enough, there’s something unique and extraordinary about each one of us. After all, what we see is the reflection of our own thoughts. The phrase ‘beauty is in the eyes of the beholder’  started to feel real for me and its definitely true in so many ways.
Now whenever I see myself in the mirror, I see an imperfect girl with soft eyes and the ability to see beauty in others.

High Heels

They say that we suddenly grow up at a point, without realizing.
We suddenly stop doing what we always have been doing and we take a break to think. And then we change the gears and let go of all the stupidity. 
We may not like it in the beginning, but this break is required. We need to sort ourselves out, and I think that this is what I’ve been trying to do from the past few weeks.
I’ve heard that college changes people. Tomboyish girls start to wear make up, and the nerds start to bunk classes, while the desperate ones are all over each other. No hard feelings, but this is what happens.
I’ve been thinking about which category I lie in. And honestly, I’m clueless. While people around me are too busy attending some party or the other, or while uploading pictures on social networking sites, I’ve been so lost because none of these things seem appealing to me any longer.
I don’t find the need of going to the washroom every now and then just to make sure that my hair is proper. I don’t want to buy the latest fashion clothes or suddenly walk in heels, because I know that I am sure to trip!
While the whole world around me is too busy trying on different masks and finding their way out, I’m happy shedding all the colours that I was once covered in. I don’t want to pretend or try to be cool. I just want to be myself. Whether people like me or not, I honestly no longer care.
I’ve felt so lost. But now when I look at the people around me, I think I’ve found my way through the maze at last. I’ve found myself while people are too busy losing themselves.
 
Are we that ashamed of ourselves that we need to change? Or are we that weak to let others change us into something we are not?
I believe that no matter how hard we try, or how many masks we wear, in the end of the day, we come back to being ourselves. 
Did I grow up too fast, or are the people around me a bit too immature? Well, I don’t want an answer to that. 
I’m just happy with the way things are right now. And next time I see a girl trip because of those heels, I’m just going to tell her that it’s high time she realizes that those shoes aren’t meant for her. And she should grab her pair before they wear out.